The Whining Stranger on Politics and Current Events: Which George Has Less Credibility?

This one?



...who is suddenly claiming that he was mysteriously drugged by some unknown party back in 1974, on the night Ali knocked him out in Zaire? A revelation so shocking he had to wait thirty-three years and until the publication of his memoirs to present it to the world?

Or this one?

...who's suddenly claiming (again) that there was a tangible connection between Al-Qaeda and Iraq, and thus the gigantic military clusterfuck going on over in the Middle East was necessary and justified?

You tell me.

The Whining Stranger on Politics and Current Events: Oh, Christians!

Just in time for the holidays, a bunch of conservative Christians aiming to put the spectacle back in spectacular bigotry.

Read about their efforts to bombard Wal-Mart here: http://www.savewalmart.com/

And then make sure to drop them an email reminding them that the so-called Radical Homosexual Agenda they're trying to suppress was inaugurated by those notorious maverick queers, the Founding Fathers.

The Whining Stranger on Politics and Current Events: A T-Shirt Everybody Should Buy

Click here to see it.

Musings: 100 Days of Curmudgeonly Sentiments Continuing--

Things to keep a prematurely grumpy old man grumpy as September wears on:

1. Academic departments that decide suddenly to ration out how much paper each faculty member receives each semester. "Um. Pardon me for printing out drafts of the academic articles, book chapters, short stories, reviews and lecture notes that lie at the heart of my job description and tenure expectations."

2. Nose-diving first-place baseball teams that seem determined to relinquish their lead just before playoff time.

3. Any vehicle with "F-150, F-250, or F-450" in its name.

4. Bigoted politicians who don't attend AIDS conventions ostensibly because it will link them publicly to a "queer" cause.

5. Fantasy football draftees who underperform. Yeah, I might be talking 'bout you, Cedric Wilson.

6. Thirty-dollar mp3 player covers supposedly designed for certain models of mp3 players but which don't fit properly.

7. The jerk campus police officer who ticketed my car when I was parked illegally to play basketball. The lot was half empty, dude!

So we beat on, boats against the current, and all that--

The Whining Stranger on Politics and Current Events: On 9/11

Given my profession, it's no surprise that I believe art and literature have a messianic propensity for salvation--or at least for offering the understanding of experience, the shaping of chaos into form, that seems to offer salvation as we stumble through our lives. Today I try to remember my early reactions to that tragic morning, five years ago. The disbelief that clouded my early day as I watched mass murder on television. The uncertainty that seemed to hover in the air in the weeks that followed.

This, of course, was all before insidious politicians tried to shape circumstance for me. It preceded the appropriation of grief to encourage a blind faith in unjustified violence. Before garish magnetic ribbons on the backs of gas-guzzling vehicles criss-crossing the empire's highways.

Five years later, one of the best responses to 9/11 is still one of the earliest: Toni Morrison's poem, "The Dead of September 11," which I first read in Vanity Fair around November of that weighty autumn. Read it and think about Morrison's compassionate response, and how it makes so much more sense--it shapes the chaos so much more efficiently--than so much of the nonsense that's followed in the half-decade since.

The Whining Stranger on Politics and Current Events: In the "...Which Everybody, Including the Deceitful Clown Pictured Below, Knew, Of Course" Depart

Today's top headline: "Senate: No Prewar Saddam-al-Quaida Ties."

No shit, really?

Who here besides me imagines this cat in his undergrad days, tossing water balloons up like a hyena, and piling into his Range Rover with open liquor?

The Whining Stranger on Politics and Current Events: "Welcome to America."

If you haven't seen this yet, make sure to watch George Allen's demeaning remarks directed at an American college student, voiced gleefully on his recent listening tour--and then pay attention to Allen's equally grotesque attempt to save his ass afterward. God bless America.

The Whining Stranger on Politics and Current Events: One Child Beauty Queen = Tens of Thousands Distant Dead Children

Here I am, all in a tizzy about the damn media again. Why am I so easily moved to anger given the predictability of American news agencies. Here's my beef: sure, I want to see JonBenet Ramsey's killer brought to justice. I find her death--and her life, actually--to be an undeniable tragedy. But I would like a little balance in my news coverage. There are tens of thousands civilians dead in Iraq and Darfur, many of whom--duh!--are children. Sure, they didn't wear blue eyeshadow and perform cute dances in cowboy boots. Yes, they didn't sing in adorably warbly little voices with curled blond hair.

But they do deserve a little more attention, no?

This post seems to articulate what is painfully obvious, I know, and I'll feel a tiny bit better if I hit "publish" and get it online.

The Whining Stranger on Politics and Current Events: This Just In...

According to a headline from my favorite junky news-source (not for news junkies, of course, but just plain junk), Yahoo News: Poll: Bush May Be Hurting Republicans.

And in other developments, scientists have discerned that cancer may be harmful to one's health.

Also, Peter Schweizer, of USA Today, author of the provocative (by which I mean nauseating) tome, Do As I Say (Not As I Do): Profiles in Liberal Hypocrisy, points out--as his headline reads--that Gore Isn't Quite As Green As He's Led The World To Believe. Read the piece, and then perhaps, like me, you'll find yourself asking, "Why do conservatives challenge dissent by trying to expose hypocrisy? So Al Gore is a spoiled rich guy who leads an overly indulgent life. Big deal. That's what rich guys do. But does that negate the problems regarding global warming to which the (Real Elected) President has tried to call attention?"

I'm tired of so-called critical thinkers in the public sphere playing I've-called-you-on-your-hypocrisy as though it's a trump card in public debate. Is this what passes for political engagement? If so, I'll open another Colt 45 and continue to wait for the oceans to boil over.

The Whining Stranger on Politics and Current Events: Taking It to the Streets: A Primer on the Whining Stranger's Politics

As I try to resolve the various subtleties and possible contradictions that befit being an non-dogmatic, politically engaged critical thinker in these troubled times, I think I can say safely that I am all of the following.

• pro-choice; anti-middle-aged-white-guys-jockeying-for-control-of-women's-bodies
• anti-war; pro-trying-to-use-the-boundlessness-of-our-human-intelligence-to-resist-resolving-differences-in-unevolved-ways
• pro-social programs; anti-rich-people-trying-to-amass-more-money-than-the-next-three-generations-in-their-family-can-spend
• pro-Affirmative Action; anti-stupid-sons-of-oilmen-getting-Ivy-League-degrees
• pro-gay marriage; anti-ignorant-assholes-being-afraid-to-sanction-loving-commitment-among-sensitive-adults
• pro-waffle cone; anti-ice cream sandwich
• pro-Tigers; anti-White Sox
• anti-dogs-being-made-to-ride-unsecured-in-pick-up-trucks; pro-dogs-driving-themselves-while-their-yahoo-owners-bounce-around-in-the-back-on-sharp-turns
• pro-Batman; anti-Daredevil
• pro-Katie Couric; anti-Star Jones
• anti-Jimmy Buffet; pro-Steely Dan

So, there, that's what I'm all about politically.

(And you thought I wouldn't find a way to get yet more Steely Dan content in, didn't you?)